I was home during the day this past Friday when I just so happened to catch “Divorce Court” on daytime television with The Honorable and beautiful, Judge Lynn Toler. During this particular episode, the couple, who were in a common law marriage in the state of Texas, began to drift apart. Throughout the relationship, the couple dealt with trust issues and a host of life stressors, which included, but were not limited to the following: The wife’s health issues, her children (from a prior relationship), the husband’s work related issues, his dog, and their economic hardship. Their financial limitations led them into moving in with relatives, separately. Now once they were able to move back in together, the husband got a one bedroom apartment, which was not enough space for his wife and her children. The wife was interested in working things out, but his actions sent a clear message, “Nah Son”.
Once it was the judge’s turn to speak she made a statement that was so profound!!! She stated to the wife, “Never let a man tell you he doesn’t want you more than once”. #Boom. Wow! Her statements really got my attention and I have been thinking about it since I heard it. Not only was I able to apply it to myself, but I was able to pass the message over to a friend who needed to hear this message this past weekend. Just think about how many times you have put yourself in the position to lower your standards for your male counterpart? Hopefully, not too many times, but I am sure a few of you out there can absolutely relate.
The thought and feeling of chasing after a man (or whatever your preference) is sickening. I literally scrunched up my face while writing that previous sentence. Please do not misunderstand me here, I am all for putting in the necessary efforts to gain whatever it is one may want, but there is a limit to that go-getter attitude. A very wise person (eh hem, my dear mother) has told me over the years, “You must know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em”. You must recognize when your efforts are no longer respected, valued, and appreciated and carry your ass. LOL, I truly crack myself up, but seriously…this is a true story bro. When you want something, you go after it. Thus, if he wants you, he will come after you. We all know rejection hurts, but, it is just one of the many facts of life that we all, regardless of age, race, creed, color, sex, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability, marital status, and socioeconomic status, must deal with.
Change occurs everywhere, all of the time, including in relationships. You cannot be surprised here. Sometimes things change for the worse, sometimes they change for the better, and sometimes you cannot even interpret the change that has occurred. Whichever way it goes, the idea is to have awareness and insight into your situation and the ability and the know-how to move forward with a valuable lesson learned and strength. My friend and I had a wonderful heart to heart in reference to the subject matter. I would like to think that we both gained some clarity into our actions related to our respective relationships and feel motivated to both accept things for what they are (whether to our liking or not) and to change the things that we can.
Cheers to moving forward with our heads high, poker faces on, fearless smiles on our hearts, and barbwire around our precious feelings!
Hope you enjoyed reading! 😉