I woke up this morning extremely angry. Without getting into too much detail, a close friend acted in such a way that had left me feeling unappreciated and disvalued. Those two emotions were intense for me. What I was actually feeling was HURT by it, but it was displayed as ANGER. #TeamAries, SMH; them damn Aries.
Anyway, as one could imagine, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and chose to start my day, another day the Good Lord has allowed me to see, terribly wrong. It’s amazing how we allow others to occupy our mental spaces. I chose to fill my mental space with negativity; I internalized my friend’s actions and viewed myself negatively.
I started doubting myself and told myself that I did something wrong. I told myself I was getting what I deserved, because, I mean, why else would my friend treat me that way? Then I started questioning whether or not I brought value to anyone’s life. Sounds dramatic, right? But, keep in mind that I’m just sharing my thoughts. Those were just thoughts that I’m not afraid to admit having; we all have thoughts.
Before you judge and start formulating your feedback, remember that in spite of my profession as a behavioral health therapist, I am only human, far from perfect, and totally not above experiencing emotional pain. I checked my BS quickly, however, turned it around, and went on about my day. I had to snap out of it I guess. So, the morning progressed, I put my jams on; I was good. WOOSAH!
Now, getting to the point of this blog post…I received an email from a former client I worked with about two years ago. In all honesty, I barely remembered her as I see a lot of people where I work. But, she definitely remembered me and wanted to share her wonderful story with me. Please allow me to paraphrase some of what she wrote.
She pleasantly and casually addressed the letter to me and indicated she wanted to thank me. My eyes filled with tears as I read on. She goes on to say that though she was mandated to attend the program I work for, the group therapy sessions she attended with me helped her to change her outlook on life. She mentioned that while participating in the program she was in a long term and long distant relationship with a guy who was living outside of the country, who she was planning to marry. Also at that time she was working as a room attendant at a large hotel chain just to pay for her therapy and court fines, all while attending classes at the community college.
The good news she wanted to share is that she’s currently a junior at a four year university, got a promotion at her current job to an assistant manager, and is now married to a man she met online! She described her husband as “right” for her and she’s happy. At the end of her letter she reflected on an exercise I provided to the group in which I asked them to complete a Vision Board (from the Oprah website). I provided all of the materials. The last paragraph of her letter is as follows: “I did an exercise in your class which I think was called a vision board. I cut out pictures of the magazines, and wrote on the back of the pictures what I wanted, and provided details as to how long I wanted to accomplish these goals, and what I wanted for myself. This made me re-evaluate what I wanted in a true relationship for my life, as well as career, and spiritual life. These cut outs were placed on my door to my room, and Although a portion of them have been completed, I am now working on a vision board with my husband, and I wanted to share this brief story with you. I am thankful for the way in which you provided the experience.”
WOW! I was incredibly touched and happy for her successes. I thought to myself that her letter couldn’t have come at a better time. It reinforced that I do have value to others and though it’s not always revealed to me, people do appreciate me. It’s obviously a bit self-defeating to put myself down and discredit my worth, but hey, it happens sometimes. Her letter really helped to lift my spirits. Looks like things went full circle, huh? Today I was reminded of how grateful I am for the career I’ve chosen, and honestly how proud I am of myself and my accomplishments. As the saying goes, we are our own worst critic.
May we all continue to be blessed! Note: this post was written on 10/14/14, but posted today. As always, thank you for reading.
Sometimes when it rains, it pours, but when it clears, you really appreciate the sweet sunshine. 🙂