Demons

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Demons…We all have them, and if you want to function at your most optimal level, you must face them jokers. The thing is, my demons are mine, I’m aware of them, and I own them muthafuqqas. But guess what, though they contribute to who I am, they don’t define me. Can you say the same? That’s what you should be worried about, and I’m speaking to you adult persons out there. Depending on the day, I may look into the mirror and see the negative, the past traumas, the short-comings, the failures, the bruised ego, the rejection, the hurt, staring back at me.  The thing is, as I age and mature, I actually smile back, because without all of those “things”, I wouldn’t be the awesome person I have become, the awesome person that I am today. (High-Five to Self!)

This year has consisted of several personal changes and growth for me, after being in a rut the year before when I had to deal with familial relationships and complications, changes at work, and some health challenges (hypothyroidism). This year has also been a bit challenging, yet, overall enjoyable and productive. I have accepted and taken risks on different levels from my career to my relationships; I’ve won some and lost some, but definitely have come out on top. I have learned a lot and have actually shifted perspectives on a lot of things.  I have better determined what I want vs. what I do not want; I have identified problem areas and have taken steps in the efforts to effectively address those problem areas; I have established/re-established and reinforced personal boundaries; I have remained true to myself; and more importantly, I have not allowed fear to hold me back, actually, from anything.

I had some support this year too, even support from a new source.  It was much appreciated and came right on time. It helped to propel me forward, but also what it did was test me.  This source originally helped me along, but then turned around and tested me a bit… Hmmmm….  Without getting into too much detail, what started as assistance, turned into a hindrance. This isn’t a bad thing, though. See what happened is that new source, served its purpose and is no longer valid in my life. That’s when the art of “Letting Go” comes into play. 😉 **waves goodbye**

As I write this, I feel so grateful that I’m able to stand tall no matter what.  I’m able to do my best to get what I need out of this life. I’m able to face anyone and anything as my true self and accept the outcomes. I have the patience, consideration, understanding, and empathy of a flippin’ saint sometimes. What I remind myself is that as long as I have remained true to myself in all of the situations that I encounter, I can’t go wrong. It is funny how we say that we appreciate and value honesty/integrity, loyalty, and respect from others, because, not even a small fraction of us really mean that. No matter what though, I do what I want, I am who I am, and I’m straightforward. I get the job done and frankly, I don’t want to be around anyone or anything who/that isn’t strong, confident, and winning at this game of life…. with your demons and all.

There’s no issue in being flawed; I haven’t met a perfect soul yet!  It’s how you work them flaws and compensate with your strengths.  It’s about your character!!! My life story so far includes so much disappointment….my goodness…. but I’m still here and have accomplished more than a lot of folks. And for that, I’m grateful. And I am cool with my character! I’m proud of me, and I love me! Again, can you say the same?

In the spirit of the Thanksgiving Holiday, be grateful folks! Recognize how far you’ve come! If you’ve done your best, all you can do is be proud and content with your efforts, in spite of the outcomes! Punch your demons in the face and allow your beautiful selves to shine ever so brightly!

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You Are My Destination

“You are my destination” – the song says it all!

I fell in love with this song! The lyrics were beautiful and the video was a bit intriguing. I remember when I first heard this song… it brought back some pleasurable memories and brought a lovely smile to my face. This song put me in good spirits when I heard it again today and it’s too good not to share. 

Enjoy the jam!

#fistpump, when the beat drops. LOL.

Serotonin

“I never want to come down from you.”

Serotonin, a neurotransmitter primarily found in our Gastrointestinal tracts (GI tract), platelets, and Central Nervous Systems (CNS), is popularly thought to be a contributor to feelings of well-being and happiness.  Who doesn’t just absolutely love it when they are experiencing the wonderful feelings of sheer bliss? I took some time out to meditate today and recall a few different happy moments throughout my life.  It was nice, I’m all smiles today. We know that negative moods are associated with negative outcomes, and in the words of the wise Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

We have to keep our mind, body, and spirit up! That is if we are planning on making it in this world. So, brothers and sisters,

#1 – Turn them frowns upside down – Get your mind right!,

#2 – Let’s get up in the gym and work on our fitness – Come on now, Beer and Wings are only going to get you but so far…, and

#3- Give it up to your higher power – Do what you want, but my HP is the Holy Trinity.

We “goin’ up, on a Tuesday!” LOL Happy Tuesday followers! I challenge you to take a holistic approach to your life….. Being great isn’t easy, is it? But, we got this!

Best wishes,

The Greatest
…JK, but not really. Lol… 😉

Yet So Uncouth

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There are countless memes and jokes on the internet about “mister steal your girl”, and of guys who have been friend-zoned stealthily waiting on the sidelines for your man to screw up.  It’s no doubt hilarious; I’ve lost it on a few of those memes (LOL), but in real life, that bullshiggity is for the birds. I find it almost nauseating for how these vultures prey upon you while you are in such a vulnerable state.  Some of them won’t even give your recent break-up 24 hours before they are trying to pitch their “See! You should’ve been dating me!” campaign. Um, what?

It highlights the fact that these “guy friends” that you may have in your life really aren’t friends at all. You tell them the secrets of your current relationship (of course they made you feel so comfortable opening up to them), just for them to, in turn, put up a front and tell you and/or show you the opposite of whatever your complaints about your man were.  I like to call that, The Ol’ Trickery.  Don’t fall for it ladies.  If you do, you’ll find yourself in a rebound relationship that will not do anything, but waste your time and energy.

Call me crazy, but I’m not impressed by a guy that tries to sell me on how much “better” he was than my man. First thought that pops in my mind is, “You dont know us, man!” Think about it ladies, so you and your guy are “broken up”, is that the term we are still using?, and you are heartbroken, but you still love him, how would you feel about someone bashing the guy who stole your heart? I can’t get with it, it’s like, let me feel however I want to feel about the change in my relationship status, but keep your two cents to yourself.  You might say something wrong, and f*ck around, and get cut.  (LOL). Maaaaan, listen.

Before I go, let me say that, perhaps you do have a knight in shining armor in your life, you know that fine sexy one that does have what you want and need but ya’ll have been platonic…. I can see your smiles as you picture that exact one, but if he doesn’t present himself in good taste and in proper timing, he may just blow it.  My suggestion to them, they, those guys, is to be cool and allow the magic to happen. But keep in mind, the heart wants who it wants and there’s no changing that.

Just some random thoughts on my mind, so of course I thought to myself, “Well lemme blog about it.” As usual, thanks for stopping by; and always feel free to comment.      

When it Rains

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Unlike most, I love it when it rains. It’s something about the darkened skies, the cool crisp air, the rhythmic pitter patter of the rain drops…

I don’t know… there’s something comforting to me when it rains.

Maybe it’s because when it rains, I think of you.

Heeeeey! Are You A Knight Or Something?

I’m laying in my warm comfy bed, after a rather long day, alone, unfortunately or fortunately depending…and I started to really give thought to something interesting that happened today. This occurred this morning, but it didn’t really resonate with me until a few moments ago. Lol, so of course I immediately figured I should blog about it. (Out of respect I had to get permission first) So, this cool guy, we can call him a friend, he’s sort of been around in my life for a few years, reached out to me, “as a friend”. At first he sent me a YouTube video of a new song titled, One In A Million. (Anyone who knows me, knows how much I like to jam!) Lol! But this was followed by some pretty deep thoughts, via text, about how much I meant to him and how he’s wondered if he would ever have a chance to have a “closer relationship” with me. He presented sincerely; he wasnt referring to just sex,  but definitely something more.

Moving on, he says he has “always respected our friendship boundary”, but has always been “very attracted” to me. He goes on to say that he “always knew” my last relationship wouldn’t last because, “based on how you would talk about you and whatever his name is, I could tell that though you may have loved him, he didn’t really love you and that you deserved better, not to say that I’m better or what not, but, I just wanted to let you know that I paid attention hun. I just didn’t want to say it because I didn’t want to damage our friendship.” Ok, I didnt see that coming.

I want to mention that all of his texts included lots of much appreciated flattery, which very was nice. Then, near the end of the conversation he said, “I hope you aren’t upset. I know you cared for that dude, but I DO love you and would treat you a million times better than him.” My responses in between his texts were minimal. I said things like, “uh huh”, “hmmm”, “ok”, “I see”, “um, thank you”…. I’m sure he knows I wasn’t trying to be rude or dismissive. I was just trying to take it all in, in the midst of a busy day at work. It was thoughtful and can be taken as sweet, right? But I wasn’t exactly sure of how to feel at the time I was receiving the messages and now I just feel, I don’t know, I think I need to sleep on it. Before writing this post, I was honest with him and told him I didn’t really have a direct response right now, but wanted to blog about it, if he didn’t mind. I appreciate that he gave me the go, as he knows I would absolutely be respectful of his feelings and identity. (Insert Law & Order chime lol)

I’m curious to any feedback anyone would have??? Have you ever experienced a situation such as this? I guess, I just find it enlightening when learning of another’s perspective. The differences between how others view you and/or your situation vs. how you view yourself, in my opinion, is always something to take a look at as a part of one’s personal growth. Hmmm, another thing I’m thinking as I continue to write is that it took some huevos aka balls to be honest about his feelings, which is something we all have an internal battle about when deciding to truly express ourselves to others. As a matter of fact I can totally understand how he may be feeling right now. If you take a look at my previous blog post titled, Can We Talk?, you would get my point here. Only when you find someone worth it would you go to great lengths for them, I guess like how he is right now. Hmmmmm…..

Special thanks to my friend for #1, feeling comfortable being honest with me and #2 supporting me in being able to share this with readers. 🙂 No, I’m not upset, actually; everyone is entitled to their opinions. I’m willing to hear him out, maybe after I fully process this.

So, readers any thoughts? Don’t be shy now. Is he a knight in shining armor? Or is this in poor taste? One more thing I’ll add is that he said “regardless of what anybody thinks they have to say on this”, he doesn’t take back anything he said today, because “at the end of the day, I’m your friend”. But, I’d be lying if I said things didn’t get just a tad bit awkward for me here. We cool, but just being transparent here.

I mean friends should be able to be honest with each other, right???

Oh, here’s the song, enjoy!  I was grooving tho!

Can We Talk?

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A friend on Instagram, @nashalacole, posted the pic above on her page and it stuck with me. The blatant lack of communication has been swirling all around me these past few weeks; I’ve experienced it in my personal life, and witnessed it in friend’s lives, and in the lives of a few of my clients. You know what, I also heard this topic come up on The Kane Show, Hot 99.5, DC’s #1 Hit Music Station one morning when a lady provided a heated commentary about adults who play mind games in relationships. All of this triggered me to blog about the subject matter.

I started with a repost of the picture above on my IG and requested feedback from followers. My caption to the above picture was as follows: “Lol, like I get kids not being able to communicate themselves, but grown ppls??? I can’t dig it, I can’t dig it at all. It’s like you get judged by simply sharing your feelings. Why do grown people play mind games? Do we ever get too old for it? If so, I know I am patiently awaiting the day.” The feedback was wonderful and I will share some of what was said in just a bit.

My personal thoughts are that you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up about how you feel. As a child I was always taught to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, which as an adult person I am aware of the fallacy of such teachings. In my opinion, why wouldn’t you simply be clear with someone? Why pretend you don’t care, when you do care? Why pretend you are not interested, when you are interested? If you want to reach out and talk, why wouldn’t you? Why put a timeframe down when you want it now? Why tip toe in your Jordans around the pink elephant in the room, when you and everyone else clearly sees the damn thing?  Most of the time it’s because you are taking the faulty advice of your useless friends, or you have made some assumptions based on preconceived notions, or you have drawn some inconclusive conclusions, or perhaps you really don’t care enough….. Now let’s take a look at what others had to say.

@brendaquispe stated, “I’ve taken that risk and sometimes it backfires, but oh well, we move on and learn from it”. @dela219 stated, “Don’t waste your time, if people have walls, barriers, baggage, issues, etc that’s their business, not yours. There will be someone else ready and open for you, whether it be a friendship, a relationship, partnership, etc. But don’t waste your time trying to figure them out. Figure yourself out and get it going!” @mypiebrookies stated, “Some people don’t grow up enough to be able to express themselves in an adult manner. Those same people are the ones running around either telling everyone I love you and not meaning it or playing games trying to be with x, y, & z. I say if you aren’t grown enough to communicate how you feel (like, love, or anything else) then you shouldn’t be in a grown up relationship.” I’ll reference one other comment. @devilishangel83 stated, “I totally relate to this, I’ve been called an ass for speaking the truth or just giving advice that was asked for, but certain people didn’t want to hear it, cause they’re not hearing what they want to hear or the yes person who agrees to everything they say. I feel I have to bite my tongue a lot in front of people, and I think being fake is much worse then being labeled as blunt or an ass, in my opinion, I’m at the age where I want people to be honest with me and I’ll be honest with them, spent too much time not being myself and being silent, now that I know who I am, I don’t have time to be fake”. Wow, good feedback, no? Lol, that @devilishangel83 went off for a minute, huh? Lol

I think it would be helpful for us to learn and/or relearn healthier communication skills and techniques. We could benefit from being more assertive and respectful, and considerate of feelings, both of your own and those of the other party. As I write this, I’m thinking about a recent conversation I had with someone I used to know, where it was as if we just put on this fake performance that ended with, aaaannndddd cut! end scene, exit stage left. All that was created after our encounter was unnecessary anxiety and confusion. Personally, I find miscommunication annoying as it continuously permeates our social world, though it’s totally a preventable ailment. I think life would be easier if people just say what they mean, and do what they say, and expect others to do the same. Right?

How about we talk about it? 😉

Thanks for reading, feel free to comment and share your thoughts!

I wrote this the other day,  but wanted to ping it on this daily post.

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