A friend on Instagram, @nashalacole, posted the pic above on her page and it stuck with me. The blatant lack of communication has been swirling all around me these past few weeks; I’ve experienced it in my personal life, and witnessed it in friend’s lives, and in the lives of a few of my clients. You know what, I also heard this topic come up on The Kane Show, Hot 99.5, DC’s #1 Hit Music Station one morning when a lady provided a heated commentary about adults who play mind games in relationships. All of this triggered me to blog about the subject matter.
I started with a repost of the picture above on my IG and requested feedback from followers. My caption to the above picture was as follows: “Lol, like I get kids not being able to communicate themselves, but grown ppls??? I can’t dig it, I can’t dig it at all. It’s like you get judged by simply sharing your feelings. Why do grown people play mind games? Do we ever get too old for it? If so, I know I am patiently awaiting the day.” The feedback was wonderful and I will share some of what was said in just a bit.
My personal thoughts are that you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up about how you feel. As a child I was always taught to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, which as an adult person I am aware of the fallacy of such teachings. In my opinion, why wouldn’t you simply be clear with someone? Why pretend you don’t care, when you do care? Why pretend you are not interested, when you are interested? If you want to reach out and talk, why wouldn’t you? Why put a timeframe down when you want it now? Why tip toe in your Jordans around the pink elephant in the room, when you and everyone else clearly sees the damn thing? Most of the time it’s because you are taking the faulty advice of your useless friends, or you have made some assumptions based on preconceived notions, or you have drawn some inconclusive conclusions, or perhaps you really don’t care enough….. Now let’s take a look at what others had to say.
@brendaquispe stated, “I’ve taken that risk and sometimes it backfires, but oh well, we move on and learn from it”. @dela219 stated, “Don’t waste your time, if people have walls, barriers, baggage, issues, etc that’s their business, not yours. There will be someone else ready and open for you, whether it be a friendship, a relationship, partnership, etc. But don’t waste your time trying to figure them out. Figure yourself out and get it going!” @mypiebrookies stated, “Some people don’t grow up enough to be able to express themselves in an adult manner. Those same people are the ones running around either telling everyone I love you and not meaning it or playing games trying to be with x, y, & z. I say if you aren’t grown enough to communicate how you feel (like, love, or anything else) then you shouldn’t be in a grown up relationship.” I’ll reference one other comment. @devilishangel83 stated, “I totally relate to this, I’ve been called an ass for speaking the truth or just giving advice that was asked for, but certain people didn’t want to hear it, cause they’re not hearing what they want to hear or the yes person who agrees to everything they say. I feel I have to bite my tongue a lot in front of people, and I think being fake is much worse then being labeled as blunt or an ass, in my opinion, I’m at the age where I want people to be honest with me and I’ll be honest with them, spent too much time not being myself and being silent, now that I know who I am, I don’t have time to be fake”. Wow, good feedback, no? Lol, that @devilishangel83 went off for a minute, huh? Lol
I think it would be helpful for us to learn and/or relearn healthier communication skills and techniques. We could benefit from being more assertive and respectful, and considerate of feelings, both of your own and those of the other party. As I write this, I’m thinking about a recent conversation I had with someone I used to know, where it was as if we just put on this fake performance that ended with, aaaannndddd cut! end scene, exit stage left. All that was created after our encounter was unnecessary anxiety and confusion. Personally, I find miscommunication annoying as it continuously permeates our social world, though it’s totally a preventable ailment. I think life would be easier if people just say what they mean, and do what they say, and expect others to do the same. Right?
How about we talk about it? 😉
Thanks for reading, feel free to comment and share your thoughts!