I have mentally and emotionally prepared myself to bid farewell to the bruised little girl who still lives deep inside of me. The little girl who is trapped between the ages of birth to five years of old; The little girl who is uncertain about the consistency of her caregiving, essentially, the consistency of her world; The little girl who unfortunately taught herself to feel comfortable all alone; The little girl who believes that she is unworthy of love; The little girl that carries the shame and guilt of her family; The little girl who has seen too much too fast; The little girl who dissociates when experiencing pain/trauma; The little girl who doesn’t fully understand why they did what they did and why they left her; The little girl with fear and sadness in her heart, yet bravery in her soul, which can be seen through her gentle, little eyes.
Hey there little pretty girl that God has made. You have blossomed into a wonderful, joy of a woman. It’s ok; you’re safe and have been safe for quite some time. Look my little ninja, we made it! There’s that beautiful smile little girl! Come over to me and give me a warm hug. Dry your eyes and look at me. Let’s not live in and/or relive the past, because I want to fully live here in the present. I want to be right here in the present where not only am I safe, but there’s consistency; Life is simple and enjoyable; I don’t carry the family’s shame and guilt, or even my own, Dammit!; I am not being traumatized; I am by no means alone and have people around me I can trust; I am worthy of love and receive love; My strength and courage to face my world is intact and even admired by others…..
Little girl, I have nothing but respect for you because you did what you could to the fullest extent of your ability for us, but your job is absolutely done. I hope you can trust that I can and will take it from here. It’s time for us to deliver our valedictions. So long little girl… May you REST IN PEACE.
I ran across this on FB and it left me pondering. I have an idea of how I think things should be, but what I actually have doesn’t quite meet that expectation. We all know that things not meeting your expectations typically equals disappointment. However, in this case it isn’t a bad thing at all. After seeing my significant other in his environment and around his friends, while he was in the zone, I was provided with a new perspective and understanding about who he is. One’s friends can provide a lot of insight about a person. No one is perfect, and we may not vibe well in a few areas, but he is truly something and I’m delighted that our paths had the opportunity to cross. Though things with us are a bit unconventional, and sometime seem more complicated than I feel is necessary, we both have clearly invested time and the experience is priceless. Invested time is a big deal because time ain’t cheap! Word to the wise, if you feel like you are wasting time, then simply stop. Guess we’ll rock until one of us decides to stop.
**Raises Glass** Until then……
“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.”
—Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948), Writer
I ran across this quote this morning and it provoked a few different thoughts and emotions. I think it is a beautiful quote. Right after reading it, I smiled. I like to think of myself as an individual with a big heart. I tend to always come from a loving place. Some people say that when you love somebody, you love them. But, with all of that said, I’ve had the opportunity to fall in and out of love. Sometimes things look and feel different once the smoke clears. It’s amazing how things, including love, change over time……
Hope you enjoyed reading! Stay up lovebirds!
That 2015 Lexus is sexy right!?!? I Need One! Lol
Sitting in my car before I head to church, randomly thinking…..People come and they go is right! It’s funny that the people who hurt you the most, swore they’d never do it. I thought I had lost a friend, well, that may be true, but I also gained a lesson. You ever experience that moment when the light turns green in your life? This is the time when you throw yourself into gear, hit the gas, and go for it honey! 😉
acceptance, communication, Daily posts, encouragement, first time blogger, Friendship, healthy living, inner beauty, Love, mental health, mindfulness, Pop culture, Relationships, respect, self-reflection, spirituality
Demons…We all have them, and if you want to function at your most optimal level, you must face them jokers. The thing is, my demons are mine, I’m aware of them, and I own them muthafuqqas. But guess what, though they contribute to who I am, they don’t define me. Can you say the same? That’s what you should be worried about, and I’m speaking to you adult persons out there. Depending on the day, I may look into the mirror and see the negative, the past traumas, the short-comings, the failures, the bruised ego, the rejection, the hurt, staring back at me. The thing is, as I age and mature, I actually smile back, because without all of those “things”, I wouldn’t be the awesome person I have become, the awesome person that I am today. (High-Five to Self!)
This year has consisted of several personal changes and growth for me, after being in a rut the year before when I had to deal with familial relationships and complications, changes at work, and some health challenges (hypothyroidism). This year has also been a bit challenging, yet, overall enjoyable and productive. I have accepted and taken risks on different levels from my career to my relationships; I’ve won some and lost some, but definitely have come out on top. I have learned a lot and have actually shifted perspectives on a lot of things. I have better determined what I want vs. what I do not want; I have identified problem areas and have taken steps in the efforts to effectively address those problem areas; I have established/re-established and reinforced personal boundaries; I have remained true to myself; and more importantly, I have not allowed fear to hold me back, actually, from anything.
I had some support this year too, even support from a new source. It was much appreciated and came right on time. It helped to propel me forward, but also what it did was test me. This source originally helped me along, but then turned around and tested me a bit… Hmmmm…. Without getting into too much detail, what started as assistance, turned into a hindrance. This isn’t a bad thing, though. See what happened is that new source, served its purpose and is no longer valid in my life. That’s when the art of “Letting Go” comes into play. 😉 **waves goodbye**
As I write this, I feel so grateful that I’m able to stand tall no matter what. I’m able to do my best to get what I need out of this life. I’m able to face anyone and anything as my true self and accept the outcomes. I have the patience, consideration, understanding, and empathy of a flippin’ saint sometimes. What I remind myself is that as long as I have remained true to myself in all of the situations that I encounter, I can’t go wrong. It is funny how we say that we appreciate and value honesty/integrity, loyalty, and respect from others, because, not even a small fraction of us really mean that. No matter what though, I do what I want, I am who I am, and I’m straightforward. I get the job done and frankly, I don’t want to be around anyone or anything who/that isn’t strong, confident, and winning at this game of life…. with your demons and all.
There’s no issue in being flawed; I haven’t met a perfect soul yet! It’s how you work them flaws and compensate with your strengths. It’s about your character!!! My life story so far includes so much disappointment….my goodness…. but I’m still here and have accomplished more than a lot of folks. And for that, I’m grateful. And I am cool with my character! I’m proud of me, and I love me! Again, can you say the same?
In the spirit of the Thanksgiving Holiday, be grateful folks! Recognize how far you’ve come! If you’ve done your best, all you can do is be proud and content with your efforts, in spite of the outcomes! Punch your demons in the face and allow your beautiful selves to shine ever so brightly!
“Falling down is part of life. Getting back up is living.”, Anonymous.
Be easy folks! Let’s not over complicate things. Wise folks say, if something in your life is not working, try a new method. What a freaking concept!!!
Know that you are resilient. Know that you are a survivor. Know that if there’s a will, there’s a way.
“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”
– Malcolm Gladwell, Author.
Ever think that all of the different events you experience in your life, all of the different people you encounter, and all of the different things you learn along the way are put in place for you to be prepared for what’s right for you?
Hmmm, don’t get discouraged when things don’t seem to go your way. Perhaps it’s all a part of your grand master plan.
With a bruised ego, crushed pride, and a host of negative feelings, remind yourself of all of your strengths. Pull yourself up by your lacy thong straps after having been knocked down by a sudden blow. YOU CAN DO IT! You have the strength, but you can pray for more if you must… You can also pray for guidance and understanding if needed. Work your way towards acceptance and respect your life’s process. Know that you will be OK; Know that you are BOLD and BEAUTIFUL.
As always, I hope you enjoyed reading!