Feeling Inspired

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Muriel Strode (Author).

Sunday evening after I had successfully submitted paper three for my online course (I am so close to becoming a LPC), a dear friend of mine texted me, inviting me out for hookah! I figured that it was a better move than spending the rest of the evening at home, alone, on a holiday weekend and after experiencing a great loss (We’ll get into that another time). So, off I went. As I got ready and headed out, I thought about how long it has been since I have been out with friends, or have had much fun, or even got my blog on. As the summer comes to a close, I realized that I have been rather swamped these days adulting and what not. I have been managing three jobs as a mental health professional (one full time and two part times), family issues, and my own personal life stressors. As I pulled up to the Lebanese Restaurant (In my Homer Simpson Voice, “Mmmmm, Lebanese Restaurant”), I let those thoughts subside and decided to be in the moment with my homie.

I was a fabulous night with clear skies and crisp air with low humidity (My hair and sweat glands were thankful). We caught up on our lives and laughed at jokes while toking on our gum mint and grape filled shisha and sipping on mint tea. The menu looked scrumptious, loaded with some of my favs, but I was unable to indulge due to my Whole30 diet plan (3 weeks in!!!). Dude! I wanted a craft beer or a glass of Malbec so bad, but I abstained. Don’t worry; I had a Larabar in my bag in case ish got real (Which it did towards the end of the night, LOL!).

Anyway, after a while, two older men at the table next to us started up a conversation with us. They introduced themselves and the conversation lead to their travel adventures. A great deal of their travel was work related as they are in the business of satellite communications and some was for leisure over the years. My homie fit right into the conversation since he was born overseas and has lived in/traveled to many different countries. I have been to a few places (mainly around the U.S. and the Caribbean), but I did not have much to offer for travel experiences. With that said, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to them rattle off all the places they’ve been. Thailand, Dubai, Australia, London, Various parts of the Caribbean, Korea, Japan, Brazil, Argentina, just to name a few. The conversation was delightful; I was so entertained and inspired. I got that travel/new experiences itch bad. The last time that I traveled was about a year ago. I am close to accomplishing a huge career goal and once that is done, I’m ready to live a little more!

Coming across the quote at the start of this post contributed to my reflection on the above. The quote, alone, was motivating. I receive daily quotes to my work email from Values.Com and I love them. The challenge paired with this quote is to “Take a spontaneous trip, and explore a new place; even if it’s in your own town.” Ay Yi Captain! I have discussed this many times with my significant other within the past two and a half years. Though we have adult life focuses, we still need to have fun and experience life in a bit of a spontaneous way. Ya know, to keep things interesting!

I had to step away for a bit so that I can get my life, but I’ll be back! It is funny how a simple impromptu outing can leave you pondering life. Consider the quote and its challenge for yourselves.  Get out there and do your thing!

#UnitedIndependence = Accomplishing our individual goals together!

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I Have The Best Boyfriend Ever

I Have The Best Boyfriend Ever. (Click the link to see the original post)

Since the start of my blog in March 2014, this post written in October 2014 is the most viewed post by viewers from all over the world. I am flattered, but also find it so interesting.  Thank you to everyone!

Time Well Spent

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I ran across this on FB and it left me pondering. I have an idea of how I think things should be, but what I actually have doesn’t quite meet that expectation. We all know that things not meeting your expectations typically equals disappointment. However, in this case it isn’t a bad thing at all. After seeing my significant other in his environment and around his friends, while he was in the zone, I was provided with a new perspective and understanding about who he is. One’s friends can provide a lot of insight about a person. No one is perfect, and we may not vibe well in a few areas, but he is truly something and I’m delighted that our paths had the opportunity to cross. Though things with us are a bit unconventional, and sometime seem more complicated than I feel is necessary, we both have clearly invested time and the experience is priceless. Invested time is a big deal because time ain’t cheap! Word to the wise, if you feel like you are wasting time, then simply stop. Guess we’ll rock until one of us decides to stop.

**Raises Glass** Until then……

Frustration…

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Frustration is a general symptom of the “Things just aren’t going my way” Syndrome.  Likewise, it is a common symptom of the “Everyone around me  f***ing sucks and I keep hoping that they’ll stop f***ing sucking, but they never f***ing do” Syndrome.

I am typically optimistic and hopeful, but today the frustrations are running ever so high and I’m honestly baffled by the things that keep happening. I have been sitting back and watching out for people’s words to finally match their behavior(s) and after so many consecutive fails, my hopefulness decreases after each instance. Damn, is it going to get better? Sh*t! Or will my hopefulness decrease until there’s nothing left?

Ever feel like you wanna gouge your own eyeballs out and disconnect? Don’t tell me I’m the only one. :-\ I’m asking for the good Lord to give me strenf aka strength!

#happywednesday hope you enjoyed the read. Feel free to like and/or comment. LoL. This post was triggered by me running across the attached meme and actually having a really stressful day. But, know that I’m a boss, am grabbing the day by its balls, and making it do what it do. Don’t let anything/anyone bring you down my loves! *Muahz*

That instrumental doe….. “Frustration” lol.

Lovers and Friends

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Over the weekend I gave myself some time to just sit and think; it was quite lovely, really. Randomly I started thinking about the terms, “friend”, “best friend” and “boyfriend” (significant other). I started to recall those who have held these positions in my life and how many changes have occurred over the years (totally experienced the full spectrum of emotion, lol, sigh…..). I also thought about the value I’ve placed on these positions, both in the past and present, and started speculating how much I would value them in the future…..

What I realized is that it’s very nice to have friends and a significant other, you know, people you are supposed to be able to trust, experience life with, and create memories with; people you can share mutual love, respect, and concern with. However, as I get older, I find that though I still put value on relationships, I definitely feel less pressure to have and maintain them, especially when it requires too much effort on my part.

I believe that true friends and true love develop and persist effortlessly. And I can honestly say that those are the only relationships I’m interesting in having. I’ve been working my way through a few folks by taking a step back and clearly seeing our current relationship dynamic. Readers, I challenge you to give this some thought in your own lives, you may discover something. I concluded those thoughts for now and will probably consider the following another time: The relationships I may have grown out of, the ones that are unequal, the ones that are emotionally draining, and the ones that are irrelevant. I rather keep focus on the relationships that matter in moving forward.

Thank you for stopping by and being a part of my journey as I get closer to being the best woman I can be. This is what it’s all about, supporting each other in reaching our individual life goals (#unitedindependence). We live and we learn, and if we’re lucky we also grow and advance.

The Silver Lining

I woke up this morning extremely angry. Without getting into too much detail, a close friend acted in such a way that had left me feeling unappreciated and disvalued. Those two emotions were intense for me. What I was actually feeling was HURT by it, but it was displayed as ANGER. #TeamAries, SMH; them damn Aries.

Anyway, as one could imagine, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and chose to start my day, another day the Good Lord has allowed me to see, terribly wrong. It’s amazing how we allow others to occupy our mental spaces. I chose to fill my mental space with negativity; I internalized my friend’s actions and viewed myself negatively.

I started doubting myself and told myself that I did something wrong. I told myself I was getting what I deserved, because, I mean, why else would my friend treat me that way? Then I started questioning whether or not I brought value to anyone’s life. Sounds dramatic, right? But, keep in mind that I’m just sharing my thoughts. Those were just thoughts that I’m not afraid to admit having; we all have thoughts.

Before you judge and start formulating your feedback, remember that in spite of my profession as a behavioral health therapist, I am only human, far from perfect, and totally not above experiencing emotional pain. I checked my BS quickly, however, turned it around, and went on about my day. I had to snap out of it I guess. So, the morning progressed, I put my jams on; I was good. WOOSAH!

Now, getting to the point of this blog post…I received an email from a former client I worked with about two years ago. In all honesty, I barely remembered her as I see a lot of people where I work. But, she definitely remembered me and wanted to share her wonderful story with me. Please allow me to paraphrase some of what she wrote.

She pleasantly and casually addressed the letter to me and indicated she wanted to thank me. My eyes filled with tears as I read on. She goes on to say that though she was mandated to attend the program I work for, the group therapy sessions she attended with me helped her to change her outlook on life. She mentioned that while participating in the program she was in a long term and long distant relationship with a guy who was living outside of the country, who she was planning to marry. Also at that time she was working as a room attendant at a large hotel chain just to pay for her therapy and court fines, all while attending classes at the community college.

The good news she wanted to share is that she’s currently a junior at a four year university, got a promotion at her current job to an assistant manager, and is now married to a man she met online! She described her husband as “right” for her and she’s happy. At the end of her letter she reflected on an exercise I provided to the group in which I asked them to complete a Vision Board (from the Oprah website). I provided all of the materials. The last paragraph of her letter is as follows: “I did an exercise in your class which I think was called a vision board. I cut out pictures of the magazines, and wrote on the back of the pictures what I wanted, and provided details as to how long I wanted to accomplish these goals, and what I wanted for myself. This made me re-evaluate what I wanted in a true relationship for my life, as well as career, and spiritual life. These cut outs were placed on my door to my room, and Although a portion of them have been completed, I am now working on a vision board with my husband, and I wanted to share this brief story with you. I am thankful for the way in which you provided the experience.”

WOW! I was incredibly touched and happy for her successes. I thought to myself that her letter couldn’t have come at a better time. It reinforced that I do have value to others and though it’s not always revealed to me, people do appreciate me. It’s obviously a bit self-defeating to put myself down and discredit my worth, but hey, it happens sometimes. Her letter really helped to lift my spirits. Looks like things went full circle, huh? Today I was reminded of how grateful I am for the career I’ve chosen, and honestly how proud I am of myself and my accomplishments. As the saying goes, we are our own worst critic.

May we all continue to be blessed! Note: this post was written on 10/14/14, but posted today. As always, thank you for reading.

Sometimes when it rains, it pours, but when it clears, you really appreciate the sweet sunshine. 🙂

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Foto found online……..

The Disconnect

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“I love you”.
Three powerful words that are often times placed on a pedestal.
Three magical words that can potentially come with a high price.
Three little words with a rather big meaning.
Three special words that, frankly, are overrated.

As I mature those most sought after and most misused words are starting to depreciate in value. I’ve been subjected to to those words numerous times by a variety of people of differing relationship levels, but only a small fraction of people truly meant its “true” meaning, I suppose??? I mean, what is love really? Hmm, don’t ask my emotionless heart, disengaged from love.

#coldasice #emotionless #whatisloveanyway #iloveyou #iloveyounot #disconnected

Random thoughts communicated here, can anyone else relate? Have you ever felt emotionally disconnected from others?

DP:TurnedUpNoses

I Have The Best Boyfriend Ever

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Hear ye, Hear ye ladies and gentlemen, please stand corrected for it is I who has the best boyfriend ever. Nope, he sure does not do nearly anything I want him to do and he could not be described as romantic. LOL! But, with that said, he’s the man. Smart. Hardworking. Confident. Independent. Oh yea, and let’s not forget that he’s such a cutie! (Cheesy woman language) When we argue, not only does he admit his faults, but he’ll respectfully call me out.  He’s proven to have my best interest at heart; he’s proven to be a great friend. And can u believe that the fool will tell me, “No”?

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Pfffffff……….,yet he strives to bring me smiles.  🙂 He isn’t controlling and won’t be controlled. We are both #TeamAries, so you know we won’t have anyone telling us what or what not to do.

Anyway, overall, he positively contributes to my life and our relationship is far from BASIC. He’s an interesting dude with some freakin’ substance…STEP ASIDE oh shallow, single-minded ones!!! It’s been a pretty good time. Regardless of the future, I’ve gained a great deal from this experience, learned a lot, and grew as a person. For that I am thankful and consider these moments a blessing. Hands down, I have the best boyfriend ever!

Ask yourself when was the last time you gave your sweetie a shout out or showed them some appreciation? Have a good day Love Birds!

#BestBoyfriendEver 
#HatersGonHate 
#YouMadBro  #GivingRespectWhereRespectIsDue 
#AllSmiles 
#ShowingLove

Not a JLo fan, but this song is fitting. I’m sure someone out there likes it.

Thanks for stopping by….. 😉

DP:FreeWrite

Moments In Love

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Your relationship has you stuck? Try asking yourself three questions:

#1 – What do I want?

#2 – What do I need?

#3 – What will I settle for?

Feel free to write out your answers and reflect upon them.  This may help you to increase your insights.

Good Luck! And enjoy this jam, it’s one of favs…..

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