The Hilarity of Life

“[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain”

I saw this quote today while browsing online. I seemed to have had a little extra time prior to the start of my group therapy session as I had prepared the materials before breaking free from the office yesterday. #HighFive This quote reminded me of what I would classify as a precious moment with my significant other this past Sunday. I’m not sure if he would identify the moment as, “precious”, because I was being awfully silly. I’m starting to crack up again as I type this. Bahahahahahahahahhaha; Pardon me. Let me share what happened.

So, we were both having a well-deserved Lazy Sunday. We were bumming it, nibbling on snacks (I even had a beer), watching TV, showing each other funny stuff on our phones (gotta love social media), and exchanging touch, tickles, kisses, and my favorite, SNUGGLES!!!! One thing I showed him was this video sent by my BFF, which she found on Facebook, of a grown man walking across a busy main road in our town, Booty-Ball-Naked, acting out erratically. Sure, it provoked a few chuckles, but as a mental health professional, I couldn’t help but to be concerned that he may have been under the influence of something (i.e. PCP) and/or actively psychotic. Hopefully he gets the help that he needs. Anyway, somehow that led to us talking about terrible police sketches.  

I proceeded to google search “bad police sketches” and skimmed the results under the images tab. We got a kick out of those. We chuckled at this one again.

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Some of you may recognize it because it got a lot of attention on social media, but for some reason this one
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had us rolling!!!, I mean, done!!! I lost it. I probably laughed hysterically for about 15 minutes. We were lying opposite ends of the couch and I wanted to stand up because I couldn’t breathe, but the cackling had drained all of my energy. I was on the brink of choking, my eyes were crying, I was gasping for air and trying not to snort, I was slapping my thighs and trying my hardest to collect my silly self. His butt just laid there embracing my legs with his and let me do my thing. My goodness, I needed that!

What I acknowledged was that I haven’t been able to let loose and be a goof ball in a while. On a serious note, I have been fighting debilitating depression and anxiety for several months while trying to maintain my household, livelihood, relationships and my overall health. I make it do what it does; no doubt about that, but it has been extra challenging. Upon reflection, it seems as if I have been moving further and further away from the darkness the past couple of months. Sunday was a great moment and I felt blessed to be comfortable in my own skin, vulnerable with him, and, essentially, able to smile again.  

God is good. It’s the little things.

#happyhumpday from #unitedindependence!

**disclaimer in no way do I find crime funny and I don’t have any idea of the stories behind these sketches. Don’t bother commenting with some overly sensitive nonsense** #peacebewithyou

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I Always Land On My Feet

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Soaring high in this abstract sky, so high that my face is zipping through the wispy clouds.

My body feels light and airy, my tummy is laced with butterflies, and my mind is delightfully responsive to my oxytocin-filled brain.

“Ahhhhh”, I let out a deep breath, close my eyes, and chuck my hands up with the muscle of faith.

There aren’t any barriers, borders, or boundaries up here; it’s a rather freeing experience.

However, just as I become comfortable and trusting in the adventure, life rips the magical carpet from beneath me.

“Gasp!”, I try not to become overcome with fear and panic as I take a nose dive, heart first, towards the cold earth.

But, like a boisterous feline, I always land on my feet.

I brush my shoulders off, adjust myself, pick a direction, and start walking…

They say what goes up must come down and it’s all in the landing!

Pillow Talk

Lying next to you is like enjoying a warm and sweet cup of coffee first thing in the morning while sitting under the sunrays on a patio near the beach. Snuggled on your chest, your soft breath and rhythmic heartbeat are as soothing as waves crashing into the shoreline. Being with you is like being on vacation! You are pure escape from the extremely rushed and anxiety producing American hustle and bustle that I live on the daily.

I love how you look at me; I feel a jolt of sheer bliss when I catch your innocent gazes. When our eyes meet, I wonder if we are thinking the same thing. Do you think to yourself, “I wonder what she’s thinking?” because I am wondering what you could possibly be thinking. I love how you feel when we sneak little caresses and kisses in between our conversation. I love our conversations about something or nothing. I love our Pillow Talk.

#happyhumpday readers

R.I.P.

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I have mentally and emotionally prepared myself to bid farewell to the bruised little girl who still lives deep inside of me. The little girl who is trapped between the ages of birth to five years of old; The little girl who is uncertain about the consistency of her caregiving, essentially, the consistency of her world; The little girl who unfortunately taught herself to feel comfortable all alone; The little girl who believes that she is unworthy of love; The little girl that carries the shame and guilt of her family; The little girl who has seen too much too fast; The little girl who dissociates when experiencing pain/trauma; The little girl who doesn’t fully understand why they did what they did and why they left her; The little girl with fear and sadness in her heart, yet bravery in her soul, which can be seen through her gentle, little eyes.

Hey there little pretty girl that God has made. You have blossomed into a wonderful, joy of a woman. It’s ok; you’re safe and have been safe for quite some time. Look my little ninja, we made it! There’s that beautiful smile little girl! Come over to me and give me a warm hug. Dry your eyes and look at me. Let’s not live in and/or relive the past, because I want to fully live here in the present. I want to be right here in the present where not only am I safe, but there’s consistency; Life is simple and enjoyable; I don’t carry the family’s shame and guilt, or even my own, Dammit!; I am not being traumatized; I am by no means alone and have people around me I can trust; I am worthy of love and receive love; My strength and courage to face my world is intact and even admired by others…..

Little girl, I have nothing but respect for you because you did what you could to the fullest extent of your ability for us, but your job is absolutely done. I hope you can trust that I can and will take it from here. It’s time for us to deliver our valedictions. So long little girl… May you REST IN PEACE.

True Colors

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Though most colors are beautiful, everyone’s true colors aren’t… If u are giving, ya bet your sweet ass people are taking! But let’s be real, that doesn’t mean that they value you… Make sure you stay clear on that.

Thanks for stopping by and joining me as I learn thru experience; let’s learn these life lessons together.

#happyhumpday

Frustration…

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Frustration is a general symptom of the “Things just aren’t going my way” Syndrome.  Likewise, it is a common symptom of the “Everyone around me  f***ing sucks and I keep hoping that they’ll stop f***ing sucking, but they never f***ing do” Syndrome.

I am typically optimistic and hopeful, but today the frustrations are running ever so high and I’m honestly baffled by the things that keep happening. I have been sitting back and watching out for people’s words to finally match their behavior(s) and after so many consecutive fails, my hopefulness decreases after each instance. Damn, is it going to get better? Sh*t! Or will my hopefulness decrease until there’s nothing left?

Ever feel like you wanna gouge your own eyeballs out and disconnect? Don’t tell me I’m the only one. :-\ I’m asking for the good Lord to give me strenf aka strength!

#happywednesday hope you enjoyed the read. Feel free to like and/or comment. LoL. This post was triggered by me running across the attached meme and actually having a really stressful day. But, know that I’m a boss, am grabbing the day by its balls, and making it do what it do. Don’t let anything/anyone bring you down my loves! *Muahz*

That instrumental doe….. “Frustration” lol.

FLASHBACK

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OMG!
There it is.
It’s happening again.
It’s uncontrollable.
It’s taking over and holding my cognitions hostage.
My heart rate is increasing as the excitement pulses through my tiny blue veins.
My blood pressure is elevated and not due to genetics and/or too much salt.
Wait!
What’s this?
I’m over here smiling to myself.
Can you picture my incredibly huge, radiating smile?
Now I’m closing my sultry brown eyes, inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth as I bask in your sweet memory.
I can almost smell your manly scent.
My goodness, I can almost still… (eh hem; clears throat) feel… you……
Mmmm, that flashback.

#HappyHumpDay 

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