The Hilarity of Life

“[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain”

I saw this quote today while browsing online. I seemed to have had a little extra time prior to the start of my group therapy session as I had prepared the materials before breaking free from the office yesterday. #HighFive This quote reminded me of what I would classify as a precious moment with my significant other this past Sunday. I’m not sure if he would identify the moment as, “precious”, because I was being awfully silly. I’m starting to crack up again as I type this. Bahahahahahahahahhaha; Pardon me. Let me share what happened.

So, we were both having a well-deserved Lazy Sunday. We were bumming it, nibbling on snacks (I even had a beer), watching TV, showing each other funny stuff on our phones (gotta love social media), and exchanging touch, tickles, kisses, and my favorite, SNUGGLES!!!! One thing I showed him was this video sent by my BFF, which she found on Facebook, of a grown man walking across a busy main road in our town, Booty-Ball-Naked, acting out erratically. Sure, it provoked a few chuckles, but as a mental health professional, I couldn’t help but to be concerned that he may have been under the influence of something (i.e. PCP) and/or actively psychotic. Hopefully he gets the help that he needs. Anyway, somehow that led to us talking about terrible police sketches.  

I proceeded to google search “bad police sketches” and skimmed the results under the images tab. We got a kick out of those. We chuckled at this one again.

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Some of you may recognize it because it got a lot of attention on social media, but for some reason this one
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had us rolling!!!, I mean, done!!! I lost it. I probably laughed hysterically for about 15 minutes. We were lying opposite ends of the couch and I wanted to stand up because I couldn’t breathe, but the cackling had drained all of my energy. I was on the brink of choking, my eyes were crying, I was gasping for air and trying not to snort, I was slapping my thighs and trying my hardest to collect my silly self. His butt just laid there embracing my legs with his and let me do my thing. My goodness, I needed that!

What I acknowledged was that I haven’t been able to let loose and be a goof ball in a while. On a serious note, I have been fighting debilitating depression and anxiety for several months while trying to maintain my household, livelihood, relationships and my overall health. I make it do what it does; no doubt about that, but it has been extra challenging. Upon reflection, it seems as if I have been moving further and further away from the darkness the past couple of months. Sunday was a great moment and I felt blessed to be comfortable in my own skin, vulnerable with him, and, essentially, able to smile again.  

God is good. It’s the little things.

#happyhumpday from #unitedindependence!

**disclaimer in no way do I find crime funny and I don’t have any idea of the stories behind these sketches. Don’t bother commenting with some overly sensitive nonsense** #peacebewithyou

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I Always Land On My Feet

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Soaring high in this abstract sky, so high that my face is zipping through the wispy clouds.

My body feels light and airy, my tummy is laced with butterflies, and my mind is delightfully responsive to my oxytocin-filled brain.

“Ahhhhh”, I let out a deep breath, close my eyes, and chuck my hands up with the muscle of faith.

There aren’t any barriers, borders, or boundaries up here; it’s a rather freeing experience.

However, just as I become comfortable and trusting in the adventure, life rips the magical carpet from beneath me.

“Gasp!”, I try not to become overcome with fear and panic as I take a nose dive, heart first, towards the cold earth.

But, like a boisterous feline, I always land on my feet.

I brush my shoulders off, adjust myself, pick a direction, and start walking…

They say what goes up must come down and it’s all in the landing!

Radical Acceptance

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My #1 favorite saying is, “It is what it is.” I guarantee that adapting that way of thinking into your life is a game changer. Go ahead, I double dare you. Welp, that is all. Good luck!

#happyfriday Live Free!

R.I.P.

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I have mentally and emotionally prepared myself to bid farewell to the bruised little girl who still lives deep inside of me. The little girl who is trapped between the ages of birth to five years of old; The little girl who is uncertain about the consistency of her caregiving, essentially, the consistency of her world; The little girl who unfortunately taught herself to feel comfortable all alone; The little girl who believes that she is unworthy of love; The little girl that carries the shame and guilt of her family; The little girl who has seen too much too fast; The little girl who dissociates when experiencing pain/trauma; The little girl who doesn’t fully understand why they did what they did and why they left her; The little girl with fear and sadness in her heart, yet bravery in her soul, which can be seen through her gentle, little eyes.

Hey there little pretty girl that God has made. You have blossomed into a wonderful, joy of a woman. It’s ok; you’re safe and have been safe for quite some time. Look my little ninja, we made it! There’s that beautiful smile little girl! Come over to me and give me a warm hug. Dry your eyes and look at me. Let’s not live in and/or relive the past, because I want to fully live here in the present. I want to be right here in the present where not only am I safe, but there’s consistency; Life is simple and enjoyable; I don’t carry the family’s shame and guilt, or even my own, Dammit!; I am not being traumatized; I am by no means alone and have people around me I can trust; I am worthy of love and receive love; My strength and courage to face my world is intact and even admired by others…..

Little girl, I have nothing but respect for you because you did what you could to the fullest extent of your ability for us, but your job is absolutely done. I hope you can trust that I can and will take it from here. It’s time for us to deliver our valedictions. So long little girl… May you REST IN PEACE.

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