Reminiscing

I heard this song randomly today and thought about my old big head Dad. As I was bobbing my head my mind took a power walk down memory lane. I know that he had a lot of jams from “back in the day”, but this one triggered a flashback I have of him humming the beat and feeling the groove. My childhood was something else, but in no way was it all bad. I was/am loved. Reminiscing…. #igotitmade #musicislife #gratefulforthelittlethings

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It Was A Good Day Or Weekend Rather

5:00AM this morning, the cool groove, “Footsteps In The Dark” by The Isley Brothers sounds and casually wakes me up. As I become increasingly aware I can’t help myself from singing, “Today Was A Good Day”, by Ice Cube. You know how it goes, “Just wakin up in the morning gotta thank God…” And know that I’m always sure to thank the good Lord every day that I open my bright eyes! I usually choose an alarm that’s going to kick my day off rizight, ya feel meh? #musicislife. Wait a minute, now that I think about it, seeing “Straight Outta Compton” probably influenced my current alarm choice. But, I don’t think I was trying to wake up to “F*ck da Police”

Anyway, even though I always wake up thankful, and my hype alarms get it rocking, that can only get me but so far. Some days I find myself dragging ass because I’m overworked and under paid, and though rewarding and necessary, my career itself can be incredibly draining. I’m also hungry with a taste for achievement and success. I like to go out and go get. I like tapping into new things and new experiences, but there’s never enough time in the day for all of the stuff that I dream up. The hypothyroidism also doesn’t offer much help. **Utters Loud Sigh**

No matter what though, I keep going. I keep savoring life, living, doing, and being. For instance, this past week was one of the best weeks that I’ve had in a long while, which prompted me to write this post. Last week Thursday I had the day off from work along with the bf. We hung out and prepped for his art show in Washington, DC earlier in the day, which was followed by some additional quality time before getting ready for and attending the main event later that evening. That Friday, we attended our friends’ intimate outdoor wedding. I adored witnessing their love and joy. It totally put me in a fantastic mood. Everyone looked amazing and it was just perfect. On Saturday mid-morning I said goodbye to my love and finally headed home before stopping to my 8 year old nephew’s BBQ birthday party (wish I had more time to spend with the big boy and the family), but I had a concert already scheduled. My sorority sister and I attended the Chris Brown concert at the Jiffy Lube Stadium that evening. We had a blast letting loose like all them youngins out there and met some rather stimulating people. Lastly, on Sunday, I dashed over to the church to link with my god baby, her parents, and other family and friends to witness her baptism and to officially become one of her godparents. We had a small reception afterwards and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to conclude the weekend.

Sunday evening when I finally got home and reflected on all of the above, all I could do was smile as I bask in the moment. I thanked God again for all of the blessings afforded to me and took my squat butt to bed. That good ol’ Monday morning came quiiiiiccccckkkk!

Happy Thursday Readers. Stay Blessed.
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Pillow Talk

Lying next to you is like enjoying a warm and sweet cup of coffee first thing in the morning while sitting under the sunrays on a patio near the beach. Snuggled on your chest, your soft breath and rhythmic heartbeat are as soothing as waves crashing into the shoreline. Being with you is like being on vacation! You are pure escape from the extremely rushed and anxiety producing American hustle and bustle that I live on the daily.

I love how you look at me; I feel a jolt of sheer bliss when I catch your innocent gazes. When our eyes meet, I wonder if we are thinking the same thing. Do you think to yourself, “I wonder what she’s thinking?” because I am wondering what you could possibly be thinking. I love how you feel when we sneak little caresses and kisses in between our conversation. I love our conversations about something or nothing. I love our Pillow Talk.

#happyhumpday readers

I N S A N I T Y

Ever do something repeatedly knowing that the consequence of your choice is going to impact you negatively? You set yourself up for failure and disappointment every time, but you do it because you force yourself to see a glimmer of hope; that miniscule piece of hope that whispers in your ear, “Grab on to my pantaloons! I bet this is the time that it will be different.” You know what I’m talking about….

Whether it be kissing your boss’ ass in hopes of getting a raise that you will never get; all you are left with is reduced self-respect and a mouf full of ass. (Tragic)

Whether it may be with a “best friend” you are always there for who in turn doesn’t have your back; all you are left with is a one-sided relationship that makes you feel like a cheaper hooker with a nappy wig and torn fishnets. (Foul)

Whether it’s you never losing weight though you are constantly on a diet. They said you can have a cheat day….”a” as in one!; all you are left with are nice curves, if you are lucky, and a beer gut. (Not cute)

Whether it’s with a romantic interest that you display your love and affection to knowing he/she isn’t capable of being the man/woman you want and need; all you are left with are feelings of rejection and heartache. (Tinder vs. POF)

Whether it be you drinking like a fish knowing you are a two drink minimum; all you are left with is the hangover of all time, again. (Get yo life)

I can continue, but I think you get the point, lol, though I’m being a little silly here. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…… Hmmmm…… Something to think about, huh? What will it take to break yourself from this pattern?

Writing this random post made me think of this song. Hope you enjoyed it. I Love Zedd; he’s fun! This jam is one of my favs.

How Much Can The Heart Hold?

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.”

—Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948), Writer

I ran across this quote this morning and it provoked a few different thoughts and emotions. I think it is a beautiful quote. Right after reading it, I smiled.  I like to think of myself as an individual with a big heart. I tend to always come from a loving place. Some people say that when you love somebody, you love them. But, with all of that said, I’ve had the opportunity to fall in and out of love. Sometimes things look and feel different once the smoke clears. It’s amazing how things, including love, change over time……

Hope you enjoyed reading! Stay up lovebirds!

“Guts Over Fear” – Eminem

I’ve been catching this song in bits and pieces, but finally really listened to the lyrics today. OMG! I flippin love it!!! I’ve always enjoyed Eminem and in recent years I’ve gotten hip to Sia. Her voice is beautiful and she complemented Eminem well! The lyrics really spoke to me; I actually felt moved… Go ‘head Eminem! LOL! My favorite lyric is actually near the end of the song where he says, “From this day forward, just let them a holes talk, Take it with a grain of salt and eat their fucking faces off.” The struggle is oh so real, and regardless of our place in this world, we all know about it…Let the haters do what they do best, hate, and just keep it moving. If you want to succeed, you will!

Hope you enjoy the jam as I did!

#happymonday from #unitedindependence

What Was I Dreaming About Last Night?

I literally woke up singing this song, lol, from the 03:23 minute mark thru the end of the song….. those lyrics are as follows…..

What’s it gonna be baby?

Do you want him?
Or do you want me?
Cause I want you
Said I want you
Tell me, babe
Do you want me?
I gotta know, I gotta know
Do you want me?
Baby, baby, baby
Listen to me
I may not know where I’m going (babe)
I said I may not know what I need
One thing, one thing’s for certain baby
I know what I want, yeah
And if it please you baby 
Please you, baby
I’m begging down on my knees
I want you
Yes I do
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I want you

Oh man, I don’t remember my dreams from last night. Is this my subconscious?  Sigh……. Oh well, let’s skip the emotional part! Just know that I broke out in a full-fledged Prince and The Revolution rendition from there. Happy Friday folks! Even when I’m feeling down and a bit empty inside, I can rely on music to always pick me up! I carry my air guitar in my right back pocket! 😉

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Foto compliments of IG:therealdj2much.

And no judging, ya damn right I love me some Prince! 😉

Just Listening to Music

The beautiful lyrics are as follows:

When You Were Young
The Killers

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save your from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young

Can we climb this mountain
I don’t know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let’s take it easy
Easy now, watch it go

We’re burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane that started turning
When you were young
When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you Used to live
When you were young

They say the devil’s water – it ain’t so sweet
You don’t have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentlemen
Like you imagined when you were young
When you were young

I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus
But more than you’ll ever know

This is seriously one of my favorite songs! I’ve probably jammed to it a million times! BUT, I really listened to the lyrics tonight…. </3 Enjoy!

The Silver Lining

I woke up this morning extremely angry. Without getting into too much detail, a close friend acted in such a way that had left me feeling unappreciated and disvalued. Those two emotions were intense for me. What I was actually feeling was HURT by it, but it was displayed as ANGER. #TeamAries, SMH; them damn Aries.

Anyway, as one could imagine, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and chose to start my day, another day the Good Lord has allowed me to see, terribly wrong. It’s amazing how we allow others to occupy our mental spaces. I chose to fill my mental space with negativity; I internalized my friend’s actions and viewed myself negatively.

I started doubting myself and told myself that I did something wrong. I told myself I was getting what I deserved, because, I mean, why else would my friend treat me that way? Then I started questioning whether or not I brought value to anyone’s life. Sounds dramatic, right? But, keep in mind that I’m just sharing my thoughts. Those were just thoughts that I’m not afraid to admit having; we all have thoughts.

Before you judge and start formulating your feedback, remember that in spite of my profession as a behavioral health therapist, I am only human, far from perfect, and totally not above experiencing emotional pain. I checked my BS quickly, however, turned it around, and went on about my day. I had to snap out of it I guess. So, the morning progressed, I put my jams on; I was good. WOOSAH!

Now, getting to the point of this blog post…I received an email from a former client I worked with about two years ago. In all honesty, I barely remembered her as I see a lot of people where I work. But, she definitely remembered me and wanted to share her wonderful story with me. Please allow me to paraphrase some of what she wrote.

She pleasantly and casually addressed the letter to me and indicated she wanted to thank me. My eyes filled with tears as I read on. She goes on to say that though she was mandated to attend the program I work for, the group therapy sessions she attended with me helped her to change her outlook on life. She mentioned that while participating in the program she was in a long term and long distant relationship with a guy who was living outside of the country, who she was planning to marry. Also at that time she was working as a room attendant at a large hotel chain just to pay for her therapy and court fines, all while attending classes at the community college.

The good news she wanted to share is that she’s currently a junior at a four year university, got a promotion at her current job to an assistant manager, and is now married to a man she met online! She described her husband as “right” for her and she’s happy. At the end of her letter she reflected on an exercise I provided to the group in which I asked them to complete a Vision Board (from the Oprah website). I provided all of the materials. The last paragraph of her letter is as follows: “I did an exercise in your class which I think was called a vision board. I cut out pictures of the magazines, and wrote on the back of the pictures what I wanted, and provided details as to how long I wanted to accomplish these goals, and what I wanted for myself. This made me re-evaluate what I wanted in a true relationship for my life, as well as career, and spiritual life. These cut outs were placed on my door to my room, and Although a portion of them have been completed, I am now working on a vision board with my husband, and I wanted to share this brief story with you. I am thankful for the way in which you provided the experience.”

WOW! I was incredibly touched and happy for her successes. I thought to myself that her letter couldn’t have come at a better time. It reinforced that I do have value to others and though it’s not always revealed to me, people do appreciate me. It’s obviously a bit self-defeating to put myself down and discredit my worth, but hey, it happens sometimes. Her letter really helped to lift my spirits. Looks like things went full circle, huh? Today I was reminded of how grateful I am for the career I’ve chosen, and honestly how proud I am of myself and my accomplishments. As the saying goes, we are our own worst critic.

May we all continue to be blessed! Note: this post was written on 10/14/14, but posted today. As always, thank you for reading.

Sometimes when it rains, it pours, but when it clears, you really appreciate the sweet sunshine. 🙂

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Foto found online……..

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