First!

Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.

I went on a solo vacation trip a few weeks ago to a mountainous area in my home state (I’m fortunate to have access to vacation property). The drive is actually only about max 2.5hours away from my home, thus out of town, but still relatively close by if I needed to make a break. Lol. Originally, I had reserved the vacation time and was excited to share and enjoy the property with my special someone, but things changed and that plan was no longer applicable. :-\ With those unforeseen changes I didn’t make the effort to either rent my place out for a profit, or invite friends to join me. So, I planned to follow through with my time off and go by my damn self.

I mean, Heck! Why not? I desperately needed the break, I worked hard for it, and am totally capable of doing whatever I want. At the very last minute I did extend an invite to friends, but it was too short-notice, and frankly I’m glad. As the day of my departure came near, I began to feel both anxious and extremely excited for my trip. I noticed my thoughts cycled between empowerment and self-doubt. I have never vacationed solo before, but I told myself, “honey, you got this”. 😉 I researched activities and set daily goals for while I was away. I prepared myself and off I went!

While away, I got interesting feedback from people in my life. Some questioned me, “Is everything alright?”. Some showed concerned, “Please be careful!”. Some others showed, what’s the word I’m looking for…….. Hate, oh yes, that’s it, “Who vacations by themselves?” Lol! People are so funny, I tells ya. Hate only fuels a person like me, so thank you!

The first day of my trip, I instantaneously felt reinvigorated! I felt super excited and accomplished. It was amazing! Especially since for the past two or three months or so I had been feeling so many negative things (overwhelmed, work burnout, rejected, unloved, unattractive, devalued, undeserving, unappreciated, just to name a few). Ewe! Feels gross to even write that, but I was beat; I was really spent and exhausted! I am only human and not above hardship and emotional turmoil; I realize I was simply going through a transition period.

But, let me tell you, the removal from my daily living environment was exactly what I needed to reevaluate myself….family, social network/relationships, career, passions, all included…. That first day helped boost my confidence and was the start to a shift in perspective. I took in the fresh crisp air of a higher altitude, the beauty in the landscape, and the calm and peaceful vibe of the small town and got back on track! I remember feeling completely content with myself. I was all smiles and actually satisfied. I was grateful and appreciative for the opportunity to even get away. I felt blessed. I felt my strength increase and felt change coming. I felt bold and brave. I felt worth more than I was getting and started on a revised game plan. It was wonderful! I totally recommend a scheduled time-out for everyone!

Stay focused and stay blessed Readers! Don’t allow anything to stand in your way. Prove the naysayers wrong!

Enjoy a few fotos!
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DP:First

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At A Loss For Words….

I look into your eyes prepared to utter my truths, but the tight lump in my throat obstructs the words.  

I take a deep breath while my thoughts fumble and jumble and eventually convince me to refrain.  

But, wait, I’m determined to express how I feel!!!  Oh, who am I kidding?  My cognitions are so commanding.  

They manage to silence my feelings by way of intimidation.  Somehow, all that I wanted to say sounds like, “Yea, I’m ok”, followed by a faux smile.    

So You Wanna Play With Magic?

Your mind’s logical attempt to inhibit you, “Remember, you weren’t looking for this.” “This is not a part of the plan.” You want to listen, but your emotions seem to have won this round. Imagine your Reasonable Mind (where you think logically and your behaviors are planned and calculated) in a steel cage match ring with your Emotion Mind (where your thoughts and behaviors are controlled mostly by your emotions). The two states of mind go at it; and just when you think your logic will prevail, your Emotion Mind Big Show Choke Slams your Reasonable Mind, pinning it down for 1, 2, 3—–DING! Your heart flutters as your Emotion Mind walks away with the championship belt. That victory has now left you in a place you have both feared and avoided for several years…A little place known as VULNERABLE!

We are taught that vulnerability is a sign of weakness. I agree that vulnerability is rather frightening, especially if you have ever had your feelings hurt, and I mean hurt for real. However, we have all experienced vulnerability, even the toughest of the tough. I like to view vulnerability as a vehicle which drives us toward strength, courage, enhanced abilities, and increased emotional stability. When feeling uncomfortably vulnerable, ask yourself, what is it about your situation that has made you feel this way? Engage in self-exploration and self-reflection and dissect the situation. Hopefully you will uncover the deeper issue and be able to work through it and progress, versus, run away from it and repeat undesired thought and behavior patterns.

I say, why not safely let your guards down, and within healthy boundaries decide to take a risk, and play with a little magic? Come on, I dare you to open yourself up to new opportunities.

~Hope you enjoy the jam! 😉

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