Feeling Inspired

​“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Muriel Strode (Author).

Sunday evening after I had successfully submitted paper three for my online course (I am so close to becoming a LPC), a dear friend of mine texted me, inviting me out for hookah! I figured that it was a better move than spending the rest of the evening at home, alone, on a holiday weekend and after experiencing a great loss (We’ll get into that another time). So, off I went. As I got ready and headed out, I thought about how long it has been since I have been out with friends, or have had much fun, or even got my blog on. As the summer comes to a close, I realized that I have been rather swamped these days adulting and what not. I have been managing three jobs as a mental health professional (one full time and two part times), family issues, and my own personal life stressors. As I pulled up to the Lebanese Restaurant (In my Homer Simpson Voice, “Mmmmm, Lebanese Restaurant”), I let those thoughts subside and decided to be in the moment with my homie.

I was a fabulous night with clear skies and crisp air with low humidity (My hair and sweat glands were thankful). We caught up on our lives and laughed at jokes while toking on our gum mint and grape filled shisha and sipping on mint tea. The menu looked scrumptious, loaded with some of my favs, but I was unable to indulge due to my Whole30 diet plan (3 weeks in!!!). Dude! I wanted a craft beer or a glass of Malbec so bad, but I abstained. Don’t worry; I had a Larabar in my bag in case ish got real (Which it did towards the end of the night, LOL!).

Anyway, after a while, two older men at the table next to us started up a conversation with us. They introduced themselves and the conversation lead to their travel adventures. A great deal of their travel was work related as they are in the business of satellite communications and some was for leisure over the years. My homie fit right into the conversation since he was born overseas and has lived in/traveled to many different countries. I have been to a few places (mainly around the U.S. and the Caribbean), but I did not have much to offer for travel experiences. With that said, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to them rattle off all the places they’ve been. Thailand, Dubai, Australia, London, Various parts of the Caribbean, Korea, Japan, Brazil, Argentina, just to name a few. The conversation was delightful; I was so entertained and inspired. I got that travel/new experiences itch bad. The last time that I traveled was about a year ago. I am close to accomplishing a huge career goal and once that is done, I’m ready to live a little more!

Coming across the quote at the start of this post contributed to my reflection on the above. The quote, alone, was motivating. I receive daily quotes to my work email from Values.Com and I love them. The challenge paired with this quote is to “Take a spontaneous trip, and explore a new place; even if it’s in your own town.” Ay Yi Captain! I have discussed this many times with my significant other within the past two and a half years. Though we have adult life focuses, we still need to have fun and experience life in a bit of a spontaneous way. Ya know, to keep things interesting!

I had to step away for a bit so that I can get my life, but I’ll be back! It is funny how a simple impromptu outing can leave you pondering life. Consider the quote and its challenge for yourselves.  Get out there and do your thing!

#UnitedIndependence = Accomplishing our individual goals together!

The Hilarity of Life

“[Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain”

I saw this quote today while browsing online. I seemed to have had a little extra time prior to the start of my group therapy session as I had prepared the materials before breaking free from the office yesterday. #HighFive This quote reminded me of what I would classify as a precious moment with my significant other this past Sunday. I’m not sure if he would identify the moment as, “precious”, because I was being awfully silly. I’m starting to crack up again as I type this. Bahahahahahahahahhaha; Pardon me. Let me share what happened.

So, we were both having a well-deserved Lazy Sunday. We were bumming it, nibbling on snacks (I even had a beer), watching TV, showing each other funny stuff on our phones (gotta love social media), and exchanging touch, tickles, kisses, and my favorite, SNUGGLES!!!! One thing I showed him was this video sent by my BFF, which she found on Facebook, of a grown man walking across a busy main road in our town, Booty-Ball-Naked, acting out erratically. Sure, it provoked a few chuckles, but as a mental health professional, I couldn’t help but to be concerned that he may have been under the influence of something (i.e. PCP) and/or actively psychotic. Hopefully he gets the help that he needs. Anyway, somehow that led to us talking about terrible police sketches.  

I proceeded to google search “bad police sketches” and skimmed the results under the images tab. We got a kick out of those. We chuckled at this one again.

Some of you may recognize it because it got a lot of attention on social media, but for some reason this one

had us rolling!!!, I mean, done!!! I lost it. I probably laughed hysterically for about 15 minutes. We were lying opposite ends of the couch and I wanted to stand up because I couldn’t breathe, but the cackling had drained all of my energy. I was on the brink of choking, my eyes were crying, I was gasping for air and trying not to snort, I was slapping my thighs and trying my hardest to collect my silly self. His butt just laid there embracing my legs with his and let me do my thing. My goodness, I needed that!

What I acknowledged was that I haven’t been able to let loose and be a goof ball in a while. On a serious note, I have been fighting debilitating depression and anxiety for several months while trying to maintain my household, livelihood, relationships and my overall health. I make it do what it does; no doubt about that, but it has been extra challenging. Upon reflection, it seems as if I have been moving further and further away from the darkness the past couple of months. Sunday was a great moment and I felt blessed to be comfortable in my own skin, vulnerable with him, and, essentially, able to smile again.  

God is good. It’s the little things.

#happyhumpday from #unitedindependence!

**disclaimer in no way do I find crime funny and I don’t have any idea of the stories behind these sketches. Don’t bother commenting with some overly sensitive nonsense** #peacebewithyou

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Have you ever felt so unquestionably sure and so assuredly unsure of yourself at the same time?

You know, that instance when you both know exactly what you want and have no f***ing clue as to what your beating heart desires?

As an adult person, this is a frightening position to be in. I know, because I have been there. Yikes! But, how could you not, when there are all of these perceived pressures to do and experience things, and to gain things by a certain time/age in one’s life?

Speaking for myself, the anxieties run incredibly high when I feel like I have not met the developmental milestones deemed most appropriate by the ass-backwards society I live in.

As the year comes to a close, it’s our tendency to reflect upon what has come to past and to project out positive goals that we wish to accomplish in the New Year. Thus, I cannot help but to engage in this annual ritualistic self-assessment/self-reflection with the other basics. Did I do everything everyone projected on and expected of me? Did I follow along the basic rules of my time? Did I, blasé blasé blasé? Oh goodness I had to make it stop!

2015, for me, was honestly like any other year in the life. I simply continued to live and learn. And though not record breaking, I have managed to make some gains here and there. I am proud of myself, so on my scoreboard, that’s winning.

I no longer make promises about what I’m going to do or not do in the New Year or at any moment. The only thing that I plan to do in the New Year and for the rest of my life is to live however the f*** I want to live. #YouLikeThat

With that said, have a Happy New Year! Be well and stay blessed. I look forward to reconnecting with you in 2016! **Muahz**
#Unitedindependence

Our Love

With each passing moment IT is slipping further and further past my fingertips.

IT is getting so far out that I am feeling its warmth less and less.

IT is getting so far out that its picture perfect image is becoming quite blurry.

I am reaching out for IT, but I can barely grasp IT.

I’m afraid that I am going to lose IT…

Already I feel defeated, but hope has whispered into my ear, “It’s not over until the Gorda Bitch sings her funky tune baby!”

Well then, I’m going into battle for IT, because IT, is worth fighting for!

Are you coming with? Let’s grab ahold of OUR LOVE!

Say you’ll never let me go, and I won’t let go.

#poetrycorner #ourlove #unitedindependence

Reminiscing

I heard this song randomly today and thought about my old big head Dad. As I was bobbing my head my mind took a power walk down memory lane. I know that he had a lot of jams from “back in the day”, but this one triggered a flashback I have of him humming the beat and feeling the groove. My childhood was something else, but in no way was it all bad. I was/am loved. Reminiscing…. #igotitmade #musicislife #gratefulforthelittlethings

A Good Woman Is Hard To Find

Following a brief conversation with a group of coworkers, a female asked a male. “So, how are you and your new girl doing?” I don’t know if he was trying to show off or what. But he jokingly stated, “I mean, she’s there, but she might not be for long.” The female chuckled and asked, “Why?” He stated something about her complaining that he doesn’t treat her well and that she’s referred to him as disrespectful. He said something about him texting some other woman. I don’t know. I recalled that when he first mentioned her several months ago he was star struck and indicated that he thought she was everything that he’d want in a woman. I wish that I had the time to engage him, but I had to see a client. Oh well. When I was leaving the conversation I heard him say, “A good woman is hard to find.”

Um, I thought to myself, “Are you sure that a good woman is hard to find or is a good woman hard to keep, bruh?” I hear men say that they want a good woman, yet when they get one they don’t know how to treat her. Words of advice: Learn how to interact with her, respect her, value her, and love her. Don’t pride yourself on the fact that you managed to lure her in, pride yourself on your ability to hold on to her and the relationship.

:-\ SMH.

I Always Land On My Feet

Soaring high in this abstract sky, so high that my face is zipping through the wispy clouds.

My body feels light and airy, my tummy is laced with butterflies, and my mind is delightfully responsive to my oxytocin-filled brain.

“Ahhhhh”, I let out a deep breath, close my eyes, and chuck my hands up with the muscle of faith.

There aren’t any barriers, borders, or boundaries up here; it’s a rather freeing experience.

However, just as I become comfortable and trusting in the adventure, life rips the magical carpet from beneath me.

“Gasp!”, I try not to become overcome with fear and panic as I take a nose dive, heart first, towards the cold earth.

But, like a boisterous feline, I always land on my feet.

I brush my shoulders off, adjust myself, pick a direction, and start walking…

They say what goes up must come down and it’s all in the landing!

Check Out This Raw Artist pt. 2…

S/O to this amazing, creative, and talented man,
Derek Rosales
IG: @ttinphotography
blog: http://www.tweakedcity.com

He did his thing last night at the Bold, RAW, Natural Born Artist event at the Howard Theater in our lovely nation’s capital. He had his latest fotos on display for all to see and admire. There was some awesome talent out there (make-up artists, film makers, singers, fashion models, painters, sculpters, photographers, jewelry designers, etc) and I send nothing but well wishes to them all.

However, with that said, I encourage you to CHECK OUT THIS RAW ARTIST! See for yourself by visiting his IG or Blog Page….
#thehowardtheatre #washingtondc #naturalbornartist #rawartist #streetphotography #ttinphotography #tweakedcity

It Was A Good Day Or Weekend Rather

5:00AM this morning, the cool groove, “Footsteps In The Dark” by The Isley Brothers sounds and casually wakes me up. As I become increasingly aware I can’t help myself from singing, “Today Was A Good Day”, by Ice Cube. You know how it goes, “Just wakin up in the morning gotta thank God…” And know that I’m always sure to thank the good Lord every day that I open my bright eyes! I usually choose an alarm that’s going to kick my day off rizight, ya feel meh? #musicislife. Wait a minute, now that I think about it, seeing “Straight Outta Compton” probably influenced my current alarm choice. But, I don’t think I was trying to wake up to “F*ck da Police”…

Anyway, even though I always wake up thankful, and my hype alarms get it rocking, that can only get me but so far. Some days I find myself dragging ass because I’m overworked and under paid, and though rewarding and necessary, my career itself can be incredibly draining. I’m also hungry with a taste for achievement and success. I like to go out and go get. I like tapping into new things and new experiences, but there’s never enough time in the day for all of the stuff that I dream up. The hypothyroidism also doesn’t offer much help. **Utters Loud Sigh**

No matter what though, I keep going. I keep savoring life, living, doing, and being. For instance, this past week was one of the best weeks that I’ve had in a long while, which prompted me to write this post. Last week Thursday I had the day off from work along with the bf. We hung out and prepped for his art show in Washington, DC earlier in the day, which was followed by some additional quality time before getting ready for and attending the main event later that evening. That Friday, we attended our friends’ intimate outdoor wedding. I adored witnessing their love and joy. It totally put me in a fantastic mood. Everyone looked amazing and it was just perfect. On Saturday mid-morning I said goodbye to my love and finally headed home before stopping to my 8 year old nephew’s BBQ birthday party (wish I had more time to spend with the big boy and the family), but I had a concert already scheduled. My sorority sister and I attended the Chris Brown concert at the Jiffy Lube Stadium that evening. We had a blast letting loose like all them youngins out there and met some rather stimulating people. Lastly, on Sunday, I dashed over to the church to link with my god baby, her parents, and other family and friends to witness her baptism and to officially become one of her godparents. We had a small reception afterwards and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to conclude the weekend.

Sunday evening when I finally got home and reflected on all of the above, all I could do was smile as I bask in the moment. I thanked God again for all of the blessings afforded to me and took my squat butt to bed. That good ol’ Monday morning came quiiiiiccccckkkk!

Happy Thursday Readers. Stay Blessed.

Check Out This Raw Artist!

I don’t normally promote events, but this is one that cannot be missed. Lately, I’ve been into gaining exposure to new things, especially the arts. My life can seem so incredibly mundane that I just want to scream in misery and drown in my tears. Ok, ok, enough of the dramatics!  Today, I’m showing love for an amazing artist, street photographer, Derek Rosales with TTINphotography. I encourage you to follow his blog at http://www.tweakedcity.com to see for yourself!

I’ve had the pleasure to view some of his work and I find his photos both new and exciting, and for lack of a better word, DOPE son, for the DMV area to look at. That man produces beauty with his camera; you really have to see for yourself. I need to figure out how to purchase some of his work because I can definitely envision some of his shots added to the decor of my home.

So, check this out, yours truly will be at the RawArtist event, in my cocktail attire, at the Howard Theater, Washington, DC on September 2, 2015. You should join me! Get your ticket today at rawartists.org/ttinphotography! Make sure you use this link! If you are interested in seeing some raw talent you need to get your ticket by August 30, 2015 (ticket deadline). Come out and support the raw talent that the DMV has to offer!

I’m super excited! Until next time readers…

Fruits of Your Labor

“You have to learn how to slow down and enjoy the fruits, man”, says my BF in one of the long, random conversations we had over this past weekend. I recall getting into one of my rants of how I’m overwhelmed and tired from doing so much, yet, in the same breath, I talked about how I wanted to add more to my heavily piled plate! He took the time to highlight what I sounded like and he couldn’t have been more right. Oh my goodness! I do need to chill!

It’s funny that we are much alike in that we are very ambitious, determined, and driven… Oh and FOCUSED MaaaaAAAANNN! Some may also group us into the Stubborn and Hard-headed category, but that’s a conversation for a different day. Anyway, being so ambitious, determined, and driven can also mean that we do not know how to sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of our labor. I believe we both call each other out on this.

Speaking for myself, I guess I have operated like a well-oiled machine for so long that I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not working on something or thinking about working on something. They say that you gotta work hard to play hard, but over the last several years I have found myself working extremely hard, accomplishing goals left and right, but not taking the time to match my play.

Now this isn’t to say that I never cut loose and enjoy myself from time to time. I’ve made some good memories, but I’m currently feeling extreme burnout. I’m all out of juice like a broke down hoopty on I-95. I’m getting to the point where I feel like something has to give. The funny thing is, I actually have some control here and I simply need to make a plan towards a solution for my problem and see it through. Is it weird that I feel guilty for resting and taking a time out for myself? Can any of you relate to this feeling? I know it’s because of some bogus fear/unrealistic expectation I place upon myself and I just need to push that load of crap aside and live.

I’m looking forward to it! Life is no joke short; I don’t want to waste anymore of whatever time I have left here on bullsh*t. Our conversation really got me hyped for doing more for me. Though I’m a Beachbody Coach, we talked about me joining a gym to have access to weights, etc. So, I went and toured a few. LA Fitness and Sport & Health were nice! Um, Planet Fitness didn’t do it for me. Lol. Then he suggested that I create my own workout space in my home, just for me. Hmmmm, that sounded good because I don’t have too much time, but for some reason I didn’t think I could do it. “I’m just going to join a gym”, I thought to myself, but then he encouraged it more and that idea became more appealing.

I became excited to have this private little space in my home for me and started putting it into action!

I moved stuff around (like that monstrous treadmill), purchased a weight bench (and put that joker together) and bam! Check it out. Lol! It’s not fancy, but it’s cute, mine, and functional. I just need to get a heavier set of weights, a barbell, and the Body Beast fitness program from Beachbody. Ooooooo, I can’t wait! Really, it is the little things. Putting that room together has lifted my spirits and I have been excited all week working out in there (beats working out in my bedroom)!

If you are feeling the burnout like I am, I encourage you, me, us, to chillax a bit in efforts to recognize how much our hard work has paid off.

Here’s to enjoying the fruits!

Radical Acceptance

My #1 favorite saying is, “It is what it is.” I guarantee that adapting that way of thinking into your life is a game changer. Go ahead, I double dare you. Welp, that is all. Good luck!

#happyfriday Live Free!

Pillow Talk

Lying next to you is like enjoying a warm and sweet cup of coffee first thing in the morning while sitting under the sunrays on a patio near the beach. Snuggled on your chest, your soft breath and rhythmic heartbeat are as soothing as waves crashing into the shoreline. Being with you is like being on vacation! You are pure escape from the extremely rushed and anxiety producing American hustle and bustle that I live on the daily.

I love how you look at me; I feel a jolt of sheer bliss when I catch your innocent gazes. When our eyes meet, I wonder if we are thinking the same thing. Do you think to yourself, “I wonder what she’s thinking?” because I am wondering what you could possibly be thinking. I love how you feel when we sneak little caresses and kisses in between our conversation. I love our conversations about something or nothing. I love our Pillow Talk.

#happyhumpday readers

Are You Drunk or Pregnant?

I’m rooted here in the DMV area, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on the bammas you’re talking to and I listen to “The Kane Show”, DC’s #1 hit music station, every morning! If I miss it because of my adult life responsibilities I catch it on iHeartRadio. So, the other day I was tuning in during my commute to work and this woman called in with a topic that Kane shared with listeners. This woman called to say that driving while pregnant is as bad or is similar to driving while drunk and basically concluded that pregnant women should not drive. Yes, she has a child and Yes, she drove while pregnant. She indicated, however, that “looking back” perhaps she shouldn’t have.

What led to her calling was the fact that she was “within inches” of being hit while walking by a pregnant woman who was “about to pop” behind the wheel. Though anyone getting hit by a car is no laughing matter, this incident is no different, my first thought was, “Oh, she’s salty” and “I’ve had close calls on running folks down on the roadways while completely sober and not pregnant”. I don’t have any children and no, I’m not pregnant at this time, so I’m not sure why this stood out to me. I guess I thought this woman’s claim was so ridiculous that I in turn threw it out on Facebook. I’ll share some of the responses below in a makeshift foto collage.

LOL, my friends are hilarious. Nope, caller, none of us agree with you, neither did anyone on The Kane Show or any of their other callers. I guess our conclusion is: Sit your butt down lady and let people live. Feel free to share if you have a real concern.

TeeHee, HaHa

I just wanted to share that I had the opportunity to literally laugh my ass off today! Seriously, look at it, it’s gone! Ok, ok, I didn’t have one to begin with, ya caught me. But, listen, I laughed out loud and it was the best feeling ever. I needed that because I’m typically uptight here at work.

This random security officer who works in my building on occasion commented on the pink outfit I’m wearing today, which is a black and hot pink skater skirt with a light pink tank top and a hot pink cardigan with black sandals. He said something slick like, “Now how did you know pink was my favorite color? You wore that for me?” I hit him with the subtle, nucca please face and a half-smile with a raised eyebrow. And then he quickly said, “I’m just kidding pretty lady, your man is lucky. You continue looking pretty in that pink, alright now”, with this genuine and polite smile on his face.

He rolled out before I could respond to any of that. He presented with southern mannerisms and wasn’t being creepy at all. It was his smile and smiling eyes that had me crack up, he looked so goofy and nervous, but was simply being sweet and honest. I appreciate the non-creepy flattery when I get it.

I feel thankful for him today, he brightened my day. I’m just showing gratitude for the little things. Happy Tuesday!